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Does love last longer in arranged marriages?

Elke Thompson and Sam Quinn got engaged the old-fashioned way: their parents arranged it.

Quinn, 23, a quiet engineering student from Springfield, Mo., wanted to settle down, and asked his parents to play matchmaker. Through church friends, they found Thompson, an apple-cheeked 17-year-old from Manhattan, Kan.

"We spent one day together, and then his dad said, 'Yes or no? We're leaving tonight with an answer,'" Thompson recalled with a giggle.

Most of the courtship occurred among the parents.

"I was very sure that I was going to take whoever they thought was right for me," Thompson said. "I didn't want to worry about what I want in a guy."

Fifteen months later, Thompson wore a wedding dress and Quinn donned a dark suit as they sat in a hotel ballroom in New York City, quietly fidgeting around a table adorned with white flowers, waiting with 42 other couples for the Rev. Sun Myung Moon to bless their union via a satellite video beamed from Korea.

Thompson's high-school friends think she's nuts, she said. But in the Unification Church, arranged marriages are the norm. Moon teaches that romantic love leads to sexual promiscuity, mismatched couples and dysfunctional societies.

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  • Norman

    While I wouldn't adhere to Sun Yun Moon's general teachings, the Book "Husbands, Love Your Wives," available as a Kindle book (Google Norman Wolfer) addresses the wisdom or efficacy of arranged marriages along with the teachings from Paul in Ephesians 5:25. Love is a choice, not something you fall into.

  • PTTA

    A General Statement. There is no love in a arranged marriage. Only fear. And love is omething that comes from the heart. Not a order that you must marry someone.

  • Evermyrtle

    I wouldn't put any confidence in any marriage performed by Sun Yun Moon. Imagine the commitments or the lack of them, involved. I don't think, without GOD it will last and/or be happy. I guess a lot depends n what they expect get from the marriage. Would it be faith, love, devotion, commitment, shared interests, or the lack of them.

  • Wayne

    In the OT many marriages were by arrangement, as an example, Isaac (Son of Abraham) and Rebekah. In modern times Dietrich Bonhoeffer intended Bride was a chosen bride (He chose her and she acquiesced), not so much based on deep and abiding love, but by family history, social status, and the anticipation of compatability. Both were sure they would come to love another over time. It was a marriage of the head before the heart. So have many successful marriages been made. Does anyone have a biblical reference to point to suggesting that love comes before marriage? I do think it is best as first a conscious decision based on factors of compatibility, social standing, education, religious belief, etc.. and then a falling in love (which is based on your own personal decision of compatibility).

  • CAmom

    Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Love is not something one "falls into" or out of.

    Biblical love has nothing to do with emotions. Emotional love is a creation of man.

    Love is patient,(E) love is kind.
    Love does not envy,(F)
    is not boastful, is not conceited,(G)
    5 does not act improperly,
    is not selfish,(H) is not provoked,(I)
    and does not keep a record of wrongs.
    6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness
    but rejoices in the truth.(J)
    7 It bears all things, believes all things,
    hopes all things, endures(K) all things.

    8 Love never ends.(L)

  • CAmom

    Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Love is not something one "falls into" or out of.

    Biblical love has nothing to do with emotions. Emotional love is a creation of man.

    Love is patient, love is kind.
    Love does not envy,
    is not boastful, is not conceited,
    5 does not act improperly,
    is not selfish, is not provoked,
    and does not keep a record of wrongs.
    6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness
    but rejoices in the truth.
    7 It bears all things, believes all things,
    hopes all things, endures all things.

    8 Love never ends.

  • lambsev11

    I think arranged marriages have the same chances as any. The first year of marriage usually reveals just how little the marrieds know about each other. The high rate of divorce among "unarranged" marriages is testimony to something, yes?