This website is a member of Liberty Alliance, which has been named as an company.

Where Christianity intersects with politics, culture, and entertainment.


hookup

Abstinence in the Hookup Culture

How should we respond to the hookup culture?

A number of concerned parents, pastors, and professors from all sides of the religious and political spectrum have expressed concern about the sexual culture that today’s young people inhabit. Some scholars, such as sociologists Mark Regnerus, Jeremy Uecker, and Kathleen Bogle, have published value-neutral analyses that aim to assess current trends and save us from common misperceptions. In empirical terms, they tell us how and why the sexual economy hurts its actors.

Others, such as Laura Sessions Stepp and Donna Freitas, have offered more personal—and, for Freitas, spiritual—analyses of problems and possible solutions in modern sexual culture. Interestingly enough, these authors don’t write as traditionalists or social conservatives. They aren’t advocating purity rings or “modest is hottest.” Instead, they seek to help young people make more responsible sexual decisions. Not surprisingly, though, their counsel often aligns with a traditional conception of sexuality and monogamy, even if not perfectly. The science shows that more commitment and fewer sexual partners tend to make people happier.

But what about those who think that morality requires a bit more of us? How can they persuade young people that reserving sexual intimacy for marriage is the right thing to do? In his book On the Meaning of Sex, popular author and political philosopher J. Budziszewski attempts to make such an argument on the basis of human nature and natural law. He begins with an anecdote from teaching. During a classroom discussion of Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, one of his students, Harris, said he found the characters disgusting. When pressed, Harris clarified that he had no problem with their sexual habits: “Sex doesn’t always have to mean something,” he insisted. What he found disgusting was their factory production of human beings.

Continue reading at www.thepublicdiscourse.com
 
Posting Policy
We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment where we can engage in reasonable discourse. Read more.
  • Evermyrtle

    The Christian outlook, fornication (sex outside of marriage) is a sin in the sight of GOD and HIS people. It causes health problems, emotional problems. lack of self esteem.. We need to start off by teaching our children that prolific, and out of marriage sex is a sin and a huge problem in our everyday lives, and our heath. Teach them that because many people are taking part in this behavior, does not mean it is right, they need to understand, that. Home school, keep them out of public schools. Teach them that everybody else is doing it does not make it right. Teach them that "Right is right if nobody does it. Wrong is wrong if everybody is doing it"

    Children need friends and we need to see that they have friends who understand the same problems that they believe in. Take them to church to a church that really teaches GOD'S standards and not one who goes along with the world. Always be aware of where your children and with whom they are with and what they are doing. While we are taking of all of these things, there is one other thing we need to do, show them all of our love, let them know they are very precious to you.

    Raising children, your most precious gifts from GOD, is not easy, it is a long, hard, but very rewarding job.

  • daves

    One of the most important things for parents is to be 100% honest with your children. Never give them a reason to not trust you and they will take your advice to heart when they are older. Don't swear in front of your children and tell them not to. Don't punish them for confiding in you.

    It is not that important to me that my eighteen year old daughter remains a virgin but right now she still is. She has met a good, Christian, young man who wants to save sex for marriage. I couldn't be more proud of them.

    Eighteen is still pretty young and things could change but at least she knows she can always talk to me.

    • M Green

      I agree with you on your first paragraph. I don't with your second, though I'm glad she looks to be off to a right start. While I do understand that we sometimes sin even when we have the best intentions NOT to and we are in need of forgiveness, I could never say that my children remaining a virgin until their wedding night was NOT important to me. BUT, unlike many people, my husband was my first, and I was not his first. I know better than most what was lost, and also what was gained. I'm not saying that we can't have good marriages if we don't wait, but it is a tragedy that so few are oblivious to what they're giving up.

    • Evermyrtle

      Very Good Daves!!!

  • keyboardshark

    Is living together before marriage a good idea? Read this before you answer:

    "What You Should Know About Living Together

    1. MYTH: Living together is an easy way to "try out" the relationship before committing to marriage.

    Truth: While the idea of "test driving" a car before you buy it is a good idea; it doesn't apply to marriage. Living together is basically a "pretend marriage" and nothing like the real thing. Couples who live together often have attitudes like: "I can leave any time," and "my money vs. your money" that married couples don't typically have. Married couples often have a stronger bond to each other because of their vow of permanence. Married couples also tend to have less volatile relationships.

    2. MYTH: Living together will give us a stronger marriage.

    Truth: Although many couples think that moving in together can give them a great head start in their marriage, living together can actually harm your marriage. Couples who live together before they marry have a divorce rate that is 50 percent higher than those who don't.

    3. MYTH: Sharing finances and expenses will make things easier on our relationship.

    Truth: While sharing finances and expenses seems like the easy thing to do in the beginning, problems do arise. Just like any couple, disputes often center around money. Couples who live together have more financial issues to resolve. Conflicts arise over, who is responsible for which bill, and the rights that one partner has to tell the other how to spend "their" money.

    4. MYTH: Your sex life goes downhill when you get married.

    Truth: The level of sexual satisfaction is higher among married couples than for couples who live together. Couples who live together tend to be less faithful to their partners than married couples.

    5. MYTH: Marriage is just a piece of paper.

    Truth: Emotionally, physically and spiritually, marriage is so much more than a piece of paper. It is a commitment. Viewing marriage as only a legal arrangement strips it of its meaning and sets the relationship up for failure. If couples do not view marriage as a loving, committed relationship, divorce is almost inevitable.

    MORE: http://firstthings.org/page/resource-center/coupl