So you learned the baby you helped to conceive is a girl and not a boy.  Already frightened by the idea of fatherhood, already concerned about all the hardships and sacrifices parenting entails, already disoriented by the potential radical change this requires in the way you envision your future, you feel now — even if only slightly — more inclined to want your partner to abort.

Perhaps it’s natural.  You know how to relate to a boy.  With a boy, all you have to do is wrestle on the floor, make some ripe fart sounds and squish a potato bug between your fingers — and you are a legend.  You could take a boy to the Boston Celtics, but cannot abide the thought of taking a girl to the Boston ballet.  You wanted to show your kid how to play Diablo III (or whatever version is out by then), not Dora Saves the Crystal Kingdom.  You understood the hit you would be taking to your wallet and your social life, not to mention your sex life, but you balanced the ledger against baseball games and taking pictures of your little gangsta and busting out the old Transformers collection.  Now, you’re supposed to stick around and help take care of a girl, a girl who will probably show an absolutely irrational preference for the color pink, a girl who will be fascinated with faerie princesses and Hello Kitty and (God forbid) Barbie, a girl who will probably prefer your wife and conspire with her against you.

So now you’re fantasizing about an abortion again, how one visit to a clinic could give you back the future you wanted, how you could escape from the whole situation and all the pressures it brought with it.  You don’t feel ready for this.  Your heart does not feel big enough.  You’re still so selfish, so lazy, so irresponsible — and those are the things you like about yourself.

Don’t do it.  Do not do it.  Your daughter is waiting for you.  She will expand and soften your heart.  She will make you a better man.  A daughter too is a blessing beyond measure.  Give yourself to this, and she will make you into a protector and provider.

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