It’s not well known that Festivus is a Christian holiday, and thus it has always been. Festivus, our Christian birthright, has been stolen from us by the forces of secularism, and we have been brainwashed into thinking that it is not a sacred Christian festival. Simply look at its symbols and rituals and the Christian roots are plain for all to see.

For instance, the chief decoration for Festivus celebrants is the Festivus pole. It is a plain aluminum pole, perfectly upright and serene. Now that Festivus poles are commercially available (Darn these lovers of filthy lucre! Will they never stop ruining our sacred celebrations with their commerce! A pox on them and their households!) the divinely inspired structure of the Festivus pole can be plainly seen by all who have a computer and internet access.

If you click the link you will notice that the Festivus pole is one pole, but it is made of three parts. The three parts constitute one pole. The Three are One. And not only that, the two parts of the base (shall we call them the First and Second parts of the Festivus pole?) are united together as one and then the Third part proceeds from the other two.

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