We enabling parents live either smack-dab in the middle of crisis, or we’re simply in between crises, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every time the phone rings at night we are catapulted to a place of despair. Will it be our adult child in a drunken stupor, the police…or the morgue?
Let’s look at these two ways we live and what we need to do to implement the decision we’ve made to stop enabling and to set boundaries for our adult child.
1. In between crises: Without a doubt, this is the best time to put our decision into motion. We would be wise to develop our action plan during this time, then present it to our adult child, and get out of the way.
2. In crisis mode: This is a harder time to implement our decision, but it can also show an immediate effect. If, for instance, the adult child has been arrested, do we intervene, or not? If the adult child lives at home and is involved in anything related to drugs, alcohol, crime, violence, unacceptable behavior, or any type of illegal activity whatsoever, do we insist on his immediate departure from your home? Do we call the authorities if necessary? He can choose to go to rehab or to a friend’s home, or anywhere he’d like—including living on the street, whatever he decides…but it is not your responsibility to find somewhere for him to go.Continue Reading on www.crosswalk.com